Unfinished Lives

Remembering LGBT Hate Crime Victims

Gay Washington Teen Dies in Response to Cyber- and School Bullying

Rafael "Rafa" Morelos, 14-year-old openly gay middle school student took his own life because of incessant bullying.

Cashmere, Washington – New light is being shed on the bullycide of a 14-year-old gay boy, victimized online and in school because of his sexual orientation.  Rafael Morelos, a student at Cashmere Middle School, hanged himself  from an irrigation bridge not far from his home on January 29, a cold Sunday in central Washington state.  His older brother found his lifeless body.  The small agricultural community of 3,060 east of Seattle continues to be in mourning because of his loss.  It is another community that believed anti-gay bullying just didn’t happen among people of stolid, conservative values like them.  Rafael’s suicide has dispelled that illusion.

By all accounts, Rafael was a boy who was easy to like.  He had been out and open about his homosexuality, and had overcome depressive bouts that had caused him to cut himself.  But conservative attitudes, especially among school counselors, made it difficult for Rafa (as his friends called him) and other gay students to find a professional they could trust.

School and town officials still do not want to say that anti-gay bullying played a major role in Rafael’s death.  But scores of his classmates told his mother that the bullying was incessant.  Huffington Post reports that the school locker room was a place of painful conflict for Rafael.  Quoting the Wentachee World, Huffpo highlights a couple of witnesses to some of the worst incidents of harassment and physical violence. One friend said, “He told me he got shoved and punched in the face in P.E. in the locker room at Cashmere.”  Another added, “He was tired of people saying that his little brothers would follow in his footsteps and be gay, too.”  Another friend said that the harassment extended to the internet.  A bully set up a Facebook page just so she could taunt Rafael online for being gay.  His mother Malinda Morelos told Q13 Fox News that she knew he was not acting as if he felt up to par, but she had no idea that he was being bullied for being gay at school.  After a candlelight vigil attended by over 100 youth and others, she said, “He never told me nothing. He did not tell me he was being bullied. He had a dark side inside him that he never told me his feelings anymore. I thought it was just him being a teenager, and I just didn’t know why.”

The Seattle Times says a person from a nearby town collected over 750 signatures for a Change.org petition calling upon Cashmere school officials to enforce their zero tolerance policy on anti-gay bullying.  LGBTQ advocates from around the nation are pressing local and state officials for action to prevent other senseless bullycides. On April 7, the Seattle Men’s Chorus, known for its many gay members, will give a benefit concert in Rafael’s memory.  The concert will be preceded by a program on diversity and tolerance.  Cashmere Schools Superintendent Glenn Johnson told the Times: “The bottom line is we lost a kid — and that’s of concern no matter what the reason is. The reality is that we take that very seriously and we want to get better as a community,” Superintendent Johnson continued. “We need to learn and heal together.”

His mother is left with her memories and a journal retrieved from his school locker where he spoke lovingly about his friends and a special person in his life.  On his iPod, Rafa left a short, poignant goodbye shortly before he died: “Sawwy, guys, but I love you guys.”  As his mother said to mourners at the candlelight vigil in memory of her dear son, “Sometimes he acted strong but, inside, he was dying little by little.”

March 29, 2012 Posted by | Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, gay teens, GLBTQ, harassment, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, Latino and Latina Americans, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, Social Justice Advocacy, Vigils, Washington State | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Gay Washington Teen Dies in Response to Cyber- and School Bullying

Another Tennessee Gay Teen Bullied to Death

Phillip Parker, 14: Bullied for being gay, he felt life was not worth living.

Gordonsville, Tennessee – The body of a 14-year-old gay boy was found by his parents and grandparents Friday, along with a suicide note begging his mother to help him. Phillip Parker committed suicide after being relentlessly bullied for his sexual orientation at Gordonsville High School. WSMV reports that Parker’s parents learned the magnitude of the bullying problem in the school only after he took his life.

This latest gay teen suicide takes place in a state riven with anti-gay controversy.  Recent “Don’t Say Gay,” “License to Bully,” and anti-transgender “Bathroom” bills are making their way through the Tennessee State Legislature, all attempting to stigmatize and debase LGBTQ people. Correlations have been made between high profile anti-gay news stories and a heightened number of violent incidents involving LGBTQ people around the nation.

Young Phillip was the person most likely to tell friends they were beautiful.  His mom said he was energetic, loving, fun, and happy.  But his grandmother reported to WSMV that he confided to her that he was burdened by the bullying, “like he had a big rock on his chest.”  The family said they had complained about the bullying to school officials, but the problem only got worse.

News 5 reports that over a hundred contacts with the Parker family after Phillip’s death added details to the bullying situation at the school. The family said some of these stories showed just how obvious the anti-gay bullying had become there.  His grandfather, Paul Harris, said to News 5: “Because he was gay, he got mistreated physically, mentally by several people out there at the school, and I am very resentful as a result of it. A sweet kind person like Phillip took it out on himself, he killed himself to get out of the pain.” 

No cause of death has yet been officially released by law enforcement authorities.  School officials have not returned calls for comment to the press.

January 23, 2012 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, anti-LGBT hate crime murder, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, gay teens, GLBTQ, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, Tennessee, transphobia | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Gay Tennessee Teens Face Potential “License to Bully” Law

TN students protesting anti-gay legislation (Tennessean image)

Nashville, Tennessee – A “License to Bully” gay students bill will be on the Tennessee Legislature docket this winter–and is already facing criticism from progressives. The bill would protect anti-gay students when they frame their homophobic feelings in religious language. WSMV4  reports that conservative lawmakers are presenting the bill, SB 760/HB 1153,  making outspoken anti-gay statements in Tennessee schools legal “if that is what religious beliefs call for.”  Like opponents of human rights around the nation, Volunteer State conservatives such as FACT (Family Action Council of Tennessee) are framing the bill as a matter of freedom of speech and freedom of religion.  Fox News 17 quotes progressive high school student Emmanuelle Loyer in opposition to the “License to Bully” bill.  Loyer said anti-gay students will take advantage of the protections the bill offers: “They can say cruel things they want to say under that protection.”  Loyer went on to say that supporters of the bill are dangerously misinformed about realities in today’s public schools. “I don’t think they realize how cruel high school students can be,” she said.

The Tennessee Equality Project (TEP) opposes the bill and its intent. Jonathan Cole of the TEP said, “It’s time for Tennesseans to stop using children as pawns for social, religious and political agendas. We need to be focusing on ways to ensure that Tennessee students receive an education free from bullying, harassment and intimidation.”  In a statement to the press, the TEP said, “The religious liberty and free speech rights of students are already protected by the U.S. Constitution. This legislation would give special protections to students of a particular religious point of view. If made into law, FACT  would give students a ‘license to bully’ that allows them to hide their irrational biases behind an extreme religious belief.” 

Already under assault from the “Don’t Say Gay” (HB0229/SB0049) bill last year, LGBTQ students and their allies in public schools are organizing to fight for vulnerable youth and teachers who are targeted for harassment, slurs, and harm. The Tennessean warned that harassment of gay youth already has already proved lethal, as in the case of Jacob Rogers, Cheatham County Central High senior who took his own life in response to years of relentless bullying based on his perceived sexual orientation.

Against the claims of FACT and right-wing lawmakers, the Tennessee Equality Project quotes a recent study in the Journal Pediatrics showing “an association between an objective measure of the social environment and suicide attempts among lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth. The social environment appears to confer risk for suicide attempts over and above individual-level risk factors. These results have important implications for the development of policies and interventions to reduce sexual orientation–related disparities in suicide attempts.”

Conservatives ignore these documented connections and protest against using the stories of gay teen suicides in the debate on the “License to Bully” bill. At a time when Tennessee lawmakers should be offering more protections for LGBTQ students, they are poised to take Tennessee in the direction of shielding homophobic students and their right wing supporters.

January 4, 2012 Posted by | Anti-Gay Hate Groups, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, gay teens, GLBTQ, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, License to Bully bill, religious hate speech, religious intolerance, Social Justice Advocacy, Tennessee | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Gay Tennessee Teens Face Potential “License to Bully” Law

Gay Tennessee Teen Takes His Life; Bullied To Death

Jacob Rogers, another gay teen hounded to death

Ashland City, Tennessee – Jacob Rogers, a teenager who cried out to his friend that no one listened to him, and that he was being constantly attacked for being gay, took his own life on Wednesday. Rogers had dropped out of school at Thanksgiving.  He left notes and email passwords for his grandmother, who was his primary guardian, so that she and officials could understand why he took his life.

His friend, Kaelynn Mooningham, told WSMV News, “He started coming home his senior year saying ‘I don’t want to go back. Everyone is so mean. They call me a f****, they call me gay, a queer.'”  Mooningham went on to say that her friend felt ignored and alone, in part because the school’s guidance counselors were unresponsive, and other school officials took no action. “Jacob told me no one was helping him,” she said. “He constantly was going to guidance.”

Other students confirmed Mooningham’s statements. They said that school officials knew some students were tormenting Jacob, but the took no steps to get it stopped.  The school, on the other hand, says that all they knew about was an incident of harassment. The principal of the school said that they had no idea it had gotten out of hand.  Friends and family find that hard to believe, however.  The fact Jacob dropped out at Thanksgiving in his senior year should have been a red flag that something was going very wrong for him

Initially, there was insufficient money to hold a funeral for Jacob.  Then a tattoo parlor started and fund, and news spread around the blogosphere about the need.  Now two other funds at local banks have been opened for the funeral and other expenses, and well-known LGBT bloggers, Dan Savage, Andy Towle, and Joe Jervis have contributed.  A candlelight vigil was held on December 8 at River Bluff Park.  Box Turtle Bulletin listed ways others could help spot and prevent more suicides of LGBT Youth from happening.  Jim Burroway says: “For more information on suicide prevention, research and help-seeking resources, see the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). If you or someone you know needs help, see The Trevor Project’s web site or call the Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).”

December 9, 2011 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, Dan Savage, gay teens, GLBTQ, harassment, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, Slurs and epithets, suicide, Tennessee, Trevor Project, Vigils | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Gay Tennessee Teen Takes His Life; Bullied To Death

High School Students Suspended for Roles in Rodenmeyer Bully-cide

Jamey Rodenmeyer,14, bullied by high school classmates

Williamsburg School District, New York – An unspecified number of North High School students have been suspended for bullying Jamey Rodenmeyer, who killed himself in September following unrelenting anti-gay harassment.  The Advocate reports that the suspensions resulted from information shared by police after the Rodenmeyer case was closed.  Though Amherst law enforcement authorities declined to bring charges against students in the case, they identified at least five incidents of anti-gay bullying aimed at Rodenmeyer, a 14-year-old freshman. The boy’s parents and school officers were not informed of the bullying incidents in question until it was too late.

School officials would not say the number of students suspended, but indicated that each of them faced a “minimum suspension” of at least five days.  Longer term suspensions may have been invoked, as well, though expulsion from school is not permitted for youths of this age.  These suspensions mark the second round of actions taken by the school system since Rodenmeyer’s death.  A female student who said she was “glad he was dead” was suspended soon after the suicide. Rodenmeyer, whose “It Gets Better” YouTube video gained wide circulation and the attention of Lady Gaga, took his life by hanging on September 18.

December 5, 2011 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, gay teens, GLBTQ, harassment, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, It Gets Better Project (IGBP), Lady Gaga, Law and Order, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, New York | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on High School Students Suspended for Roles in Rodenmeyer Bully-cide

Heartbroken 14-year-old Gay Youth Tormented to Death

Amherst, New York – Jamey Rodenmeyer wrote Lady Gaga lyrics on his Facebook page the weekend before he took his own life: “Don’t forget me when I come crying to heaven’s door.”  The quotation is from “The Queen,” a song included on Lady Gaga’s hit album, “Born This Way.”  The 14-year-old Williamsville North High student suffered unrelenting taunting and cyberbullying for being gay. Though he was in counseling with a therapist and a social worker, and was supported by his parents and a host of fans around the country due to his YouTube video for the “It Gets Better” project, the cumulative effect of psychic trauma and fear of violence broke down young Rodenmeyer’s defenses. His parents, who found Jamey’s body outside their home on September 19, told WGRZ Buffalo that they are certain he killed himself because of the bullying.  Rodenmeyer’s suicide immediately rekindled nationwide concern and anger over the culture of violence elementary, middle, and secondary school LGBTQ students face in and out of classrooms every day.  Lady Gaga called for a campaign to make bullycide a hate crime by law (no bullying laws exist in New York State).  An outspoken advocate for the gay and lesbian community, Gaga tweeted her fans: “Jamey Rodemeyer, 14 yrs old, took his life because of bullying.  Bullying must become be illegal. It is a hate crime.”  She then committed herself to approach President Obama.  “I am meeting with our President,” she posted.  “I will not stop fighting. This must end. Our generation has the power to end it. Trend it #MakeALawForJamey.”  Dan Savage, the co-originator of the “It Gets Better” project for which Rodemeyer made a video last May, said that he broke down and cried when he heard about the youth’s suicide.  Savage wrote on his blog, “The point of the ‘It Gets Better’ project is to give kids like Jamey Rodemeyer hope for their futures. But sometimes hope isn’t enough. Sometimes the damage done by hate and by haters is simply too great. Sometimes the future seems too remote. And those are the times our hearts break.”

The insults, rumors, and ridicule became too much for Jamey to bear.  On a Formspring site he opened to chat with friends online, he was targeted by irrational hate.  The Washington Post reports two representative instances of hate speech that would have unsettled anyone, no matter how well grounded: “JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!” an anonymous detractor wrote. Another went straight for his heart: “I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it 🙂 It would make everyone WAY more happier!”  Even though there were expressions of support among the posts to his site, the loudness of the hate drowned out the love. In hindsight, Jamey’s cries for help are all too obvious.  On September 9, he wrote on Facebook, “I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. … What do I have to do so people will listen to me? No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you’re the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down.”  But the face he let his parents see was calm and relatively upbeat.  Just days before he took his own life, the family went on a camping trip.

Amherst Police are investigating whether charges may be brought against youths who continually dogged Rodenmeyer with taunts and slurs. Buffalo News reports that the Special Victims Unit has been assigned to investigate whether crimes were committed against Jamey.  Cyberbullying, especially if it was centered on Rodenmeyer’s sexual orientation, could carry charges against his tormentors.  Police spokesmen have said that they are focusing their probe on one to three young harassers who targeted Rodenmeyer ever since he was a student at Heim Middle School. “We’re looking into it to see if he was the victim of any crimes, and that’s the bottom line,” Amherst Chief of Police John C. Askey told reporters. “We’re going to be speaking to school officials and students and anyone with direct information about crimes that may have been committed against this individual.”

Nearly 5,000 youths commit suicide each year, according the Centers for Disease Control, making teen suicide, especially teen LGBTQ suicide, a national health issue.  But the statistics cannot adequately count the cost of bullying in American society. Criminal harassment, ridicule, and threats strike real boys and girls one-by-one, like Jamey Rodenmeyer, and rip away their futures. In the last communication of his short life, Jamey tweeted Lady Gaga, “@ladygaga bye mother monster thank you for all you have done, paws up forever.”  In a tribute to Gaga, Jamey’s parents buried him Saturday wearing his “Born This Way” tee shirt.

September 23, 2011 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, anti-LGBT hate crime murder, Bisexual persons, Blame the victim, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, Dan Savage, gay men, gay teens, Gender Variant Youth, GLBTQ, harassment, Hate Crime Statistics, Hate Crimes, hate speech, Heterosexism and homophobia, It Gets Better Project (IGBP), Lady Gaga, Law and Order, Legislation, Lesbian women, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, New York, Perpetrators of Hate Crime, Slurs and epithets, Social Justice Advocacy, transgender persons, transphobia | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Heartbroken 14-year-old Gay Youth Tormented to Death

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