Unfinished Lives

Remembering LGBT Hate Crime Victims

Ohio Transgender Teen Commits Suicide, Cites Religious Zealot Parents’ Attempt to Control Her Life

Leelah Alcorn, 17, took her own life by jumping in front of oncoming traffic on an Ohio Interstate Highway. Tumblr image.

Leelah Alcorn, 17, lazerprincess, took her own life by jumping in front of oncoming traffic on an Ohio Interstate Highway. Tumblr image.

Union Township, Ohio – A transgender teen girl chose to walk into the path of Interstate Highway traffic rather than face discrimination and harsh treatment for her gender expression. Cincinnati.com reports that Leelah Alcorn, 17, was struck and killed by an oncoming tractor-trailer truck at approximately 2:30 a.m. on Sunday, December 28, after leaving an extensive suicide note on her Tumblr account social media page. The driver of the truck, Abdullahi Ahmed, 39, was unhurt in the tragic incident that took place near the South Lebanon exit on I-71 because of his fastened seatbelt. Ms. Alcorn’s body was transported from the scene by the Warren County Coroner’s Office. Ohio Highway Patrol Officers are investigating what led Ms. Alcorn apparently to take her own life.

Ms. Alcorn whose account of rejection, alienation for her parents and school mates highlights the plight of transgender teens around the nation, left two notes on her blog, according to openly gay Cincinnati City Council man, Chris Seelbach : a suicide note, which may be read in its entirety on Councilman Seelbach’s Facebook Page here, and an apology note to the few friends Ms. Alcorn felt she still had at the time of her decision to take her own life. Ms. Alcorn, an M to F transgender youth whose chosen screen avatar was lazerprincess wrote that she had felt herself trapped in a male body since the age of four. In her suicide note which begins, “If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue. Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender,” Leelah writes that her parents’ response to her discovery of her transgender identity contributed to a self-hatred that dogged her from age 14 until her death three years later. Her mother mandated that Leelah see conservative “Christian” therapists who only contributed to the burden of anger and depression.

The crisis apparently took place at the time of Leelah’s 16th birthday. She writes: “When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.” In response to the inflexibility of her parents, Leelah came out as gay at school, believing that doing so would soften the effect of living into her true transgender persona. Her strict Christian parents responded by taking her out of public school, depriving her of any means of communicating with the outside world such as her cell phone and her laptop, and put her into virtual isolation for five months. “No friends, no support, no love,” Leelah wrote. “Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.” 

When she was finally allowed by her parents to communicate with others and see her one-time friends, Leelah relates that her excitement turned to deeper agony upon finding out that her classmates were little better than acquaintances who cared little for her true self. After a summer of depression, fearing the unknowns of college, grades, enforced attendance at a church where “everyone . . . is against everything I live for,” and what she believed to be the unreachability of transitioning, Leelah gave up hoping anything could get any better for her. “Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself, “ she wrote. “There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say ‘it gets better’ but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.”

“That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself,” she wrote in an exhausted, heartbreaking coda to her final testament, struggling to explain who she really was by striking out her male birth name in her parting salutation. “Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say ‘that’s fucked up’ and fix it. Fix society. Please.”
“Goodbye,
“(Leelah) Josh Alcorn” 

Councilman Seelbach prefaced Leelah’s note with an appeal to his Facebook Friends to contribute what they could spare to TransOhio, so that in some measure, Leelah’s last wish that trans civil rights could somehow be advanced thanks to her having lived. Seelbach, the first openly gay Council Member to be elected in Cincinnati, writes: “While Cincinnati led the country this past year as the first city in the mid-west to include transgender inclusive health benefits and we have included gender identity or expression as a protected class for many years….the truth is….it is still extremely difficult to be a transgender young person in this country.
“We have to do better.” 

We at the Unfinished Lives Project could not agree more with Councilman Seelbach. Transgender youth in America, especially M to F persons, face unimaginable hurdles in the quest to become who they truly are. Seldom are we invited into the long, punishing agony trans teens endure. Leelah Alcorn died because her parents, her school, her society, and the religious underpinnings of the social and moral system of this country are hostile to non-normative gender identity and variant gender expression. Though she was 17 when she stepped into the path of a hurtling semi truck, she was still a child: vulnerable, confused, and above all, wounded. She took her own life. But she cannot be held responsible for the act that took her life. That indictment falls on a culture and heterosexist system in which we all play a part. LGBTQ and Straight alike. Councilman Seelbach declares what we must all resolve to do. Better. So much better, for the multitudes of youth like Leelah Alcorn who deserve a fair chance at the pursuit of happiness in a land that professes to stand for justice. “We have to do better.” Yes. It’s a matter of life and death that we do. (Thanks to Carmen Saenz, Waco, TX activist, for drawing our attention to this story.)

Rest peacefully, lazerprincess, dear sister.

For any Transgender Young Person struggling with life, and in need of a friendly, non-judgmental voice of help and encouragement, we recommend the Trevor Lifeline, a 24/7 phone service where a real person will answer your call, listen sincerely, and offer real assistance. Free call, 1-866-488-7386. Call. Text. Now. 

December 30, 2014 Posted by | Anti-LGBT hate crime, Councilman Chris Seelbach, gender identity/expression, Gender Variant Youth, GLBTQ, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, Ohio, religious intolerance, Reparative Therapy, transgender persons, TransOhio, transphobia, Trevor Project | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Gay Hate Crimes Blog Reaches New Milestone! 400k!

Dallas, Texas – Unfinished Lives Blog, a cyber effort to change the conversation about anti-LGBTQ hate crimes, reached at significant milestone at approximately Noon Central Time: 400,000 site visits.  The Unfinished Lives Project Team, past and present, thank our readership most sincerely, and move ahead with this project in the knowledge that breaking the silence and remembering the dead are acts of justice supported by so many good people.

The Unfinished Lives Project was launched in response to the over 13,000 women, men, youth, and GenderQueer people in the United States who have lost their lives so outrageously since the early 1980s to heterosexism, homophobia, and the culture of violence so prevalent in this country. As the graphic from the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP)  and GLAAD shows, the crisis of hate crime violence against queer folk is not abating—it is growing annually, at an alarming rate. Bias-motivated hate crime prevention was never more important than now.  We mourn the outrageous losses these data represent, and cry out against the injustices that instigate them.

Transgender people, especially transgender youth of color, and gay men are the main targets of unreasoning hatred today.  Our suspicion is that the number of lesbians killed for their sexual orientation is alarmingly high, as well, masked in our culture by misogynistic violence that takes the lives of so many women in this country everyday.  While the number of documented attacks against lesbians is growing, we believe that the statistics we have on the murder of lesbians are the only tip of the iceberg.

This blog was also created to support the publication of Dr. Stephen Sprinkle’s groundbreaking book, Unfinished Lives: Reviving the Memories of LGBTQ Hate Crimes Victims (Resource Publications, 2011).  The Unfinished Lives Project Team is glad that many of our readers have also discovered the book, authored by our Founder and Project Director.  Book signing and promotion events have carried the message of hate crimes prevention, LGBTQ equality, and hope throughout Texas, and to Washington, D.C., Las Vegas, Toledo, South Florida, Birmingham, Chicago, New York City, St. Louis, and six cities in North Carolina. Plans are in the works for a book tour event in Indiana. Filming has begun for a made-for-cable series based on the stories of the 14 victims told in the book.  This past June, Dr. Sprinkle received the 2011 Silver Medal for Gay-Lesbian Non-Fiction from the Independent Book Publishers Awards (the IPPYs).  A translation of Unfinished Lives is in process in the Korean language, furthering the reach of this message of justice and hope on an international stage. When released in Korea later this year, Unfinished Lives will be only the second book on homosexuality to be published in South Korea.

Thank you for your continuing interest and support.  400.000 visitors is a sign of health, hope, and sacred trust. This work was and remains to be a voluntary labor of love.  We who believe in Justice cannot rest.  We who believe in Justice cannot rest until it comes!

November 24, 2012 Posted by | Anti-LGBT hate crime, anti-LGBT hate crime murder, GLBTQ, Hate Crime Statistics, Hate Crimes, hate crimes prevention, Heterosexism and homophobia, Lesbian women, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, Social Justice Advocacy, South Korea, Texas, transgender persons, transphobia, Unfinished Lives Book, Unfinished Lives Book Signings, women | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Gay Tennessee Teen Takes His Life; Bullied To Death

Jacob Rogers, another gay teen hounded to death

Ashland City, Tennessee – Jacob Rogers, a teenager who cried out to his friend that no one listened to him, and that he was being constantly attacked for being gay, took his own life on Wednesday. Rogers had dropped out of school at Thanksgiving.  He left notes and email passwords for his grandmother, who was his primary guardian, so that she and officials could understand why he took his life.

His friend, Kaelynn Mooningham, told WSMV News“He started coming home his senior year saying ‘I don’t want to go back. Everyone is so mean. They call me a f****, they call me gay, a queer.'”  Mooningham went on to say that her friend felt ignored and alone, in part because the school’s guidance counselors were unresponsive, and other school officials took no action. “Jacob told me no one was helping him,” she said. “He constantly was going to guidance.”

Other students confirmed Mooningham’s statements. They said that school officials knew some students were tormenting Jacob, but the took no steps to get it stopped.  The school, on the other hand, says that all they knew about was an incident of harassment. The principal of the school said that they had no idea it had gotten out of hand.  Friends and family find that hard to believe, however.  The fact Jacob dropped out at Thanksgiving in his senior year should have been a red flag that something was going very wrong for him

Initially, there was insufficient money to hold a funeral for Jacob.  Then a tattoo parlor started and fund, and news spread around the blogosphere about the need.  Now two other funds at local banks have been opened for the funeral and other expenses, and well-known LGBT bloggers, Dan Savage, Andy Towle, and Joe Jervis have contributed.  A candlelight vigil was held on December 8 at River Bluff Park.  Box Turtle Bulletin listed ways others could help spot and prevent more suicides of LGBT Youth from happening.  Jim Burroway says: “For more information on suicide prevention, research and help-seeking resources, see the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). If you or someone you know needs help, see The Trevor Project’s web site or call the Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).”

December 9, 2011 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Bullycide, Bullying in schools, Dan Savage, gay teens, GLBTQ, harassment, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, Slurs and epithets, suicide, Tennessee, Trevor Project, Vigils | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Gay Tennessee Teen Takes His Life; Bullied To Death

Houston Churches Break Cycle of Gay Hate: “Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Sunday,” Feb. 20

Houston, Texas – When school bullying drove 13-year-old Asher Brown to take his own life on September 23, the horror and despair of so many LGBTQ youth was laid bare for Houston to see. LGBTQ teen suicide, a crisis for any society, hit leaders of Houston’s gay-affirming religious communities particularly hard. Now, the Houston Chronicle and the Dallas Voice report that 22 area churches are doing their part to break the cycle of religion-based negativity toward homosexuality by inaugurating “Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Sunday” this week.  On Sunday, February 20, churches from a broad range of traditions make it public that their doors and fellowships are fully open and affirming of LGBTQ youth, their families, and loved ones. The connection with the suicide of young Asher Brown is important, since at the time public rallies and memorials in his memory were taking place, the visual absence of churches, synagogues, temples, and mosques was telling. Surely hundreds of people from faith communities attended these public memorial events, but there was no organized presence on the part of religious communities–a glaring absence that communicated a message of neglect or disapproval that concerned religious leaders are eager to dispel. The Houston Chronicle details grim statistics about how religion is perceived to reinforce LGBTQ youth attitudes of alienation from faith communities. The Chronicle reports that a recent survey by the Public Research Institute showed that less than 20 percent of Americans believe faith communities do a “good job” on the issues of homosexuality and gender expression. Almost half of those surveyed said that the religious message on the topic was “negative,” and fully 40 percent said that the intolerant attitudes of religious communities contributed “a lot” to the disapproval and condemnation of LGBTQ people in this country. The most damning statistic associated with these issues referred to teen LGBTQ suicides: two out of three Americans in the survey said that religion contributed heavily to increasing rates of suicide among gender non-confroming, queer, and gay youth. Robert P. Jones, executive officer of the Public Research Institute, underlined the long history of anti-LGBTQ messages coming from America’s houses of faith: “Religious Americans historically have had negative attitudes about gays and lesbians.” In response to the crisis of teen despair in public and private schools in the metro area, the Houston Clergy Council devised “Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Sunday” as a means of getting out the word that God and the faith community do not hate, reject, or despise LGBTQ youth–quite to the contrary, these affirming churches welcome gender non-conforming people and their families every day.  The masthead of the Facebook page announcing the project reads, “Is your teenager Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, a Questioning (GLBTQ) teen? Bring your teen to one of these affirming churches, and rest assured we won’t try to ‘fix’ them. We think they are awesome just the way they are!” The list of churches is impressive, including historic mainline denominations (Episcopal, United Church of Christ, Lutheran, and United Methodist), non-denominational communities, the Society of Friends (Quakers), Unitarians and Universalists, and the largest Metropolitan Community Church in the world.  There is even a lone courageous Baptist church with an open and affirming stance. The struggle with religious intolerance and hate speech from pulpits in Houston and around the nation will go on for a long time. Thousands of congregations in the Houston metro area deny the acceptability of homosexuality and gender non-conformity, declaring queer youth sinful or worse. But a cadre of deeply committed faith leaders and their communities are determined to get out the word in America’s fourth largest city that sexual minority youth are acceptable to God, and most certainly to them.  “Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Sunday” is tomorrow, February 20.

February 19, 2011 Posted by | Bisexual persons, Bullying in schools, gay men, gay teens, gender identity/expression, Gender Variant Youth, harassment, Hate Crime Statistics, Hate Crimes, hate crimes prevention, hate speech, Heterosexism and homophobia, Houston Clergy Council, Internalized homophobia, Lesbian women, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, Popular Culture, Public Theology, religious hate speech, religious intolerance, Remembrances, Social Justice Advocacy, soft homophobia, suicide, Texas, transgender persons, transphobia | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Houston Churches Break Cycle of Gay Hate: “Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Sunday,” Feb. 20

“Bullycide” Claims Life of Gay Minnesota Teen

Alexandria, Minnesota – An 18-year-old openly gay teen was harassed to death on Saturday in Alexandria, a small, Central Minnesota town. Lance Lundsten, a senior at Alexandria Jefferson High School, took his life after relentless bullying because of his sexual orientation, according to reports posted by the local ABC affiliate, KSAX News.  At approximately 10 p.m., Douglas County Sheriff’s officers responded to an emergency call from the Lundsten home in Miltona where they found the gay teen near death.  Lundsten was transported to Douglas County Hospital, where he died. Shari Maloney, Facilitator of the Diversity Resource Action Alliance, told KSAX, “Bullying is a huge issue, particularly with the youth in our country now. I think because we’re in central Minnesota, and we aren’t as diverse as some of the larger Metropolitan areas are, someone who is different maybe draws more attention and it’s not always positive.” Maloney went on to say that attitudes toward LGBTQ youth are not keeping pace with the times in Alexandria.“I think we are a welcoming community, but I think we are also a very traditional community as well,” Maloney said. “As the world changes, I’m not sure if we’re changing.” Friends created a memorial Facebook page in Lundsten’s honor, and indicate that bullies dogged their friend because of his sexual orientation. WDIO reports that fellow students believe the anti-gay harassment led to Lundsten’s suicide. Jefferson Anti-Bullying Coalition created a Facebook group over the weekend where Lunsten’s death by bullycide is a major topic of concern. The group administrator posted this chilling statement of student anger and despair concerning the Jefferson High School officials: “The school’s staff isn’t protecting us, it’s up to the students to help each other.”  Sexual orientation is left unmentioned in the Jefferson High School handbook on harassment policies. Senator Al Franken (D-MN) spoke out against bullycide in Miltona on Monday at a rally for Martin Luther King Jr. Day. He called on the nation for more understanding and protection for LGBTQ students, according to KSAX:  “My heart goes out to Lance’s family, and friends and loved ones. It’s a tragic event, not only for them, but for the school, and the Alexandria community and really for all of us.” Franken continued,”LGBT kids really do need (more) protection. They’re two or three times more likely than straight kids to get bullied. Nine in ten LGBT students said they’ve been bullied or harassed and almost two-thirds say they don’t feel safe in school.” A service of remembrance for Lundsten is planned in Alexandria for 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday.  As a post on the Jefferson Anti-Bullying Coalition Facebook group says, “If this can happen in our small town of Alexandria, MN, it truly proves that this can happen anywhere. Stop another senseless death.” Any teen contemplating ending life because of harassment should contact the Trevor Lifeline at 866 4-U-TREVOR [866 488 7386].

January 18, 2011 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullying in schools, Condolences, gay teens, harassment, Hate Crimes, hate crimes prevention, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, Minnesota, Remembrances, Social Justice Advocacy, Student Non-Discrimination Act, suicide, Trevor Project | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on “Bullycide” Claims Life of Gay Minnesota Teen

Accused Cyber-Spies Withdraw from University in Tyler Clementi Bullycide Case

Wei, Clementi, and Ravi (CBS picture)

Rutgers University, New Jersey – Two 18-year-old freshman students accused of cyber-spying on Tyler Clementi have withdrawn from University, according to CBS News.  Dharun Ravi and Mollie Wei will not face university disciplinary charges, but must withdraw from school in the wake of the storm of controversy that broke over what many have called the “bullycide” of classmate Clementi.  Mr. Ravi and Ms. Wei are accused of invasion of privacy by allegedly spying on Mr. Clementi during a tryst with another male in a dorm room on the Rutgers University campus, and then posting the event for the world to see on the internet.  Mr. Clementi drove to the George Washington Bridge, and threw himself off into the Hudson River as a consequence.  Mr. Ravi’s lawyer told the press that the university has told his client that he may reapply for admission at a later date, but that in reality Mr. Ravi’s career as a Rutgers student is over.  Commenting on the offer of reapplication for admission to Ms. Wei and his client, Attorney Steven Altman said, “Realistically, they couldn’t go back no matter what. He definitely plans to go somewhere else.”  Ms. Wei’s attorney said that fear for her client’s safety would keep her from seeking readmission to the school.  The New Jersey statute under which Mr. Clementi’s classmates are charged with invasion of privacy makes collection of nude or sexualized images of a person without that person’s consent a fourth-degree crime.  Broadcasting such images is classed as a third-degree crime.  If convicted as charged, both Mr. Ravi and Ms. Wei could face up to five years in prison.  In the cyber age, Americans were supposed to enter a new world of exciting information technology for the advancement of the human race.  What this horrible incident reveals, however, is that the young, who are supposed to be the vanguard of a new and better future, may be technologically savvy, but suffer from a collapse of social and interpersonal boundaries.  The perpetrators of these crimes against Tyler Clementi were toying with human emotions, sexual orientation, and human life.  They were not scooping video news and images for another shabby reality show or a university version of Jack-Ass.  We have also learned that heterosexism and homophobia have not disappeared among the tech-savvy  youth of America, either.  Was what these perpetrators did a hate crime?  Unquestionably, it has had that effect, chilling the atmosphere throughout the nation for a whole segment of the population who are young, LGBTQ, and seeking to survive in a sometimes hostile world.  The attorneys for the defense are busy doing their best to seek advantage for their clients, which includes reducing sympathy for Clementi (or worse).  What must not be lost sight of in this case and in the raft of cyber-intrusion cases to come, is that the breakdown of social boundaries actually kills.  Whatever the outcome in the courts, the Clementi family, Mr. Ravi and Ms. Wei know that shocking lesson all to well.

November 15, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Asian Americans, Bullying in schools, cyber voyeurism, gay men, Hate Crimes, hate crimes prevention, Heterosexism and homophobia, invasion of privacy, Law and Order, Legislation, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, New Jersey, Perpetrators of Hate Crime, Rutgers University, suicide | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cyber-spies’ Lawyers Seek to Soft-Pedal Rutgers Bullying

Newark, New Jersey – The news today reports that lawyers for the the two alleged cyber spies, who trapped Tyler Clementi with a hidden webcam when he was intimate with a same-sex lover, say that the duo really didn’t see anything “sexual” on the night in question.  The lawyers’ point is that their clients were not doing much wrong–that Clementi just took things too far when he jumped off the George Washington Bridge.  I hope the everyone will see what is at stake in this case.  Clementi believed that he had been “outed” in a moment of vulnerability. That is what counted when Clementi was reacting to the smashed future story that had brought him to Rutgers. I am sick of these stories.  Our culture has become more and more tolerant of intolerance, and less and less interested in the youth this society professes to value.  I hope we all will demand zero tolerance for bullying of any kind against anyone.  The gay teen suicide crisis will still be with us as long as school and society cultures tolerate the bullies and place the burden of “normalcy” on LGBTQ youth.  When the news cycle moves on to Election Day and its aftermath, we who believe in justice cannot afford to leave this matter behind.  Every Superintendent of Schools in America needs to hear from us until life-affirming change truly comes, and our children–ALL our children–feel supported and protected in American schools.

Stephen Sprinkle, Director of the Unfinished Lives Project

November 1, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Asian Americans, Blame the victim, Bullying in schools, cyber voyeurism, gay men, harassment, Heterosexism and homophobia, Law and Order, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, New Jersey, New York, Perpetrators of Hate Crime, Rutgers University | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Cyber-spies’ Lawyers Seek to Soft-Pedal Rutgers Bullying

Gay Houston Boy Bullied To Death: Shoots Himself After Unbearable School Torment

Houston, TX – An eighth grader took his life on September 23 as a consequence of unbearable bullying in his school.  School officials deny any knowledge of the boy’s mistreatment, an allegation that the boy’s parents vehemently deny.  13-year-old Asher Brown, a bright student at Hamilton Middle School on the outskirts of Houston, shot himself in the head after at least two years of torment from bullies who taunted him for being small for his age, for not wearing designer clothing, and for being “gay.”  According to the Houston Chronicle, Asher’s stepfather found him dead at about 4:30 pm from a gunshot wound on the floor of a closet in their Cypress, Texas home.  He had used a 9mm Beretta pistol his stepfather kept hidden in a closet drawer.  His parents, Amy and David Truong, say that bullies in gym class took advantage of his small stature, and performed mock male-on-male sex acts on him to humiliate their son.  In the most recent case of harassment, Asher told his parents that a student tripped him coming down the stairs, causing him to spill his books on the floor.  When he stooped down to collect them, the bully kicked the books out of his reach, kicked him down the rest of the stairs, and taunted him. His stepfather said to Queerty, “I thought he was laying there [on the floor of the closet] reading a book or something,” he says. “My son put a gun to his head because he couldn’t take what he was hearing and the constant teasing.”  His mother related how anti-gay harassment troubled her son: “They called him different names for being homosexual,” she says. “He just had enough.”  There are conflicting reports about Asher’s coming out process as a gay boy.  According to Queerty, one report suggests that he came out to his parents back in the summer, and found them to be loving and understanding at that time.  Another report contends that he came out to his stepfather David the night before his suicide.  Asher found comfort in a group of other students who were ostracized for one reason or another at school.  In a school culture where officials seemed to care a great deal about dress code and tardiness, but nothing at all about bullying, the pressure got greater than Asher could bear.  The Truongs contend that they have called and emailed Houston Cy-Fair Independent School District officials pleading with them to watch their son.  Kelli Durham, spokesperson for the school, at first denied that any such communication ever took place.  Later, walking back her claim, Durham indicated that she did get an email from the Truongs about Asher, but it wasn’t about mistreatment by bullies.  The Truongs responded to the denials of the school system with anger. “That’s absolutely inaccurate — it’s completely false,” Amy Truong said. “I did not hallucinate phone calls to counselors and assistant principals. We have no reason to make this up. … It’s like they’re calling us liars. “David Truong said, “We want justice. The people here need to be held responsible and to be stopped. It did happen. There are witnesses everywhere.”  The Cy-Fair School District has a history of gay student harassment, as the Unfinished Lives Project reported in November 2009, with a violent attack against a gay youth at Langham High School.  The night before his suicide, Asher seemed sad to his parents.  They asked him about it, but he said he was “fine.”  The next day, he was dead.  Now the Truongs are appealing to other families and friends to go beyond “fine” whenever they suspect depression from a child who has been bullied in school.  They believe that the senseless loss of life due to school bullying and gay teen suicide must stop, and so do we at the Unfinished Lives Project.  Asher may have taken his own life, but the hate-motivated bullying in his school and the attitude that permitted it to go on there constitutes as clear a case of anti-gay hate crime as we have seen. According to the Houston Chronicle, Asher’s mother sent out his message to the bullies who tormented her son: “I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done. I hope you got what you wanted and you’re just real satisfied with yourself.”  A memorial service for Asher is planned for Saturday, October 2, beginning at 10 am in the park beside Moore Elementary School, 13734 Lakewood Forest Drive in Houston.  The public is invited to attend.

September 29, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Beatings and battery, Blame the victim, Bullying in schools, funerals, gay teens, gun violence, harassment, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, Slurs and epithets, suicide, Texas | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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