Gay New Mexico Teen Is Latest Victim of School Bullying
Carlos Vigil, 17, tormented to death by bullies during his senior year in high school.
Albuquerque, New Mexico – A gay New Mexico teenager took his life, despairing after years of incessant bullying by classmates. Carlos Vigil, 17, posted a heart-wrending Twitter post on Saturday, July 13, finally crumbling under the weight of the epithets and ridicule his classmates put on him. The tweet, posted as a screen capture by EveryJoe.com, reads in part: “I’m sorry to those who I offended over the years. I’m blind to see that I, as a human being, suck. I’m an individual who is doing an injustice to the world and it’s time for me to go. . . I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to love someone or have someone love me. I guess it’s best, though, because now I leave no pain onto anyone. The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak, and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with. I’m sorry for not being a person that would make someone proud.”
Ending his tweet, Carlos texted, “I am free now.” His father, who ironically had only recently returned from a conference in North Carolina where he had spoken out against anti-gay bullying in schools, saw the tweet, and rushed home, too late. Carlos was sped to the University of New Mexico Medical Center in a coma. Late Sunday night, his parents requested that doctors remove life support from their son, after his organs had been harvested to benefit others.
The pathos and horror of anti-gay bullying scream out from the story of Carlos Vigil. His mother said to reporters that her boy had been bullied in some form or another for being perceived as different and effeminate since he was eight years old. Lately, she said, Carlos had been dogged by hateful speech about his sexual orientation, his acne, his glasses, and his weight. He and his family tried valiantly to withstand the bullying, complaining to school officials, and transferring from a nearby high school to Valley High where the latest wave of bullying crashed over him. Carlos had counseled and consoled others who were verbally attacked, and his parents were constantly checking in to ask how he was doing. He had spoken out against bullying himself. But according to the New York Daily News, no one guessed at the depth of his own personal anguish until his sudden, untimely death. Eddie Vargas, sports director of Warehouse 508, an Albuquerque youth entertainment and arts center that Carlos helped to establish, said, “It’s an eye-opener that it can happen to anybody. The people we think are the most confident can also be the ones who are hurting the most.”
We should no longer be surprised that gay youth like Carlos who show compassion for the hurts of others often swim in oceans of despair that they alone are helpless to overcome. Carlos had deeply supportive parents who loved him just the way he was. But the depth of the pain of a youth who had been bullied since the third grade was beyond usual measures of love, support, and affection. Prevention is the best remedy for the multitude of LGBTQ and gender variant youth who take their own lives as a consequence of the rejection and hate speech to which they are subjected in school among their peers. Teachers and administrators, clergy, health professionals, lawmakers, and cultural icons must act decisively to stem the tide of gay teen suicide by refusing to see LGBTQ youth as “the problem,” and, while knowing and acting on the signs of youth in trouble, must defend vulnerable boys and girls by making any hint of school bullying a serious offense. Bullies need help, too. So do the families of bullies who often enact what they hear at home, or act out from experiences of torment themselves.
Now, Carlos’s family is asking for everyone to work hard to prevent another useless, senseless death like his. Early this morning, apparently unable to sleep well, his father and mother tweeted this note on their son’s Twitter account: “Carlos is finally at peace! Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. Please don’t forget what he wanted STOP THE BULLYING!”
If anyone is in need of a listening, sympathetic ear, call the Trevor Project Helpline, 24/7, to speak to a real person who will reach out to you: 1-866-488-7386. Don’t wait! Call Now!
Gay Teen, Threatened By Bullies, Hangs Himself in Oregon School Playground
Jadin Bell, 15, driven to suicide by anti-gay bullies.
La Grande, Oregon – A 15-year-old gay teen who attempted suicide after being harassed by bullies on the internet was removed from life support late last week. Anti-gay bullying, which the young Jadin Bell faced for years, has been identified by his friends as the prime cause of his act of desperation.
Bell, a sophomore at La Grande High School, hanged himself from a playground structure at Central Elementary School, according to KATU News. A quick response from a passer-by rescued him. The youth was rushed to a local hospital and placed on life support. Hill was then transferred to a major Portland trauma center, where he had been clinging to life until the family determined that further heroic efforts to keep him breathing were in vain.
The La Grande community rallied to support Bell and his family with a vigil on January 25 which was attended by over 200 people, many of whom had great memories and good things to say about the gifted youth who loved cheerleading, and volunteered at a senior citizen’s care facility. But the undertone of the vigil was a mixture of frustration and denial–frustration that a second young person had fallen prey to bullying (a 16-year-old girl had taken her life in La Grande earlier in the year), and denial of the overarching reason Jadin Bell had hanged himself: anti-gay bullying. No mention of the anti-gay harassment Hill suffered on the internet and in person was made in the reportage surrounding the vigil, even though the cause was well known throughout the town of 13,000 in Northeastern Oregon.
In a Skype interview, Bud Hill, a friend and mentor of Bell, told KATU reporters that the family considers anti-gay bullying the aggravating issue in their son’s suicide. Hill, who has vowed to start a foundation in Jadin Bell’s memory, said that the youth’s sensitivity and kindness made him a target to school toughs. “He was different, and they tend to pick on the different ones,” Hill said.
Bell had avoided confronting his harassers, saying to his family that making their hateful attacks on him public would only make his torment worse. But in recent days, the family says, Bell had gone to school officials to complain of the verbal assaults on his sexual orientation. The superintendent had initiated an investigation into Bell’s allegations, which was proceeding at the time of the suicide attempt.
“Driven to suicide”: the phrase rolls too easily off the tongue. The horror of the loss of Jadin Bell is that he is one of so many. Every town and city in the nation is susceptible to become the next La Grande. The time to stop the homophobic violence preying on the youth of the nation is now, not after it is too late.
The Trevor Helpline operates the nation’s only 24/7 suicide and crisis hotline for gay and questioning youth. Don’t wait any longer. Call the Trevor Helpline: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386).
Susan Sarandon is Trevor Project’s 2012 Hero Award Winner
Susan Sarandon, The Trevor Project’s 2012 Hero Award honoree [New York Daily News photo].
Sarandon, famed for her artistry in The Rocky Horror Picture Show [“Dammit, Janet!”], The Hunger, and Thelma & Louise, is being honored for her forthright advocacy for marriage equality, publicly opposing homophobia in the media, speaking out to save the lives of LGBTQ teens from bullying and suicide, and her gifts to HIV/AIDS research and treatment. Speaking for the Trevor Project, Abbe Land, Trevor’s Executive Director and CEO, said: “The Trevor Project is proud to honor Susan Sarandon with the Trevor Hero Award. As a straight ally, Ms. Sarandon has a long history of working to raise awareness of the importance of treating everyone fairly and ensuring same basic civil and human rights for all.” Ms. Land continued, “Our honorees know through their work with The Trevor Project that it only takes one resource – one friend, one ally, one parent – to help save a life. We are proud to honor Susan Sarandon with the Trevor Hero Award.”
Responding to the news she was Trevor’s 2012 Hero honoree, Ms. Sarandon said: “It is truly an honor to be recognized by The Trevor Project as a Trevor Hero. All people deserve respect, and young people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender deserve to know that there are people who care for them and who are fighting to make this world a better and more accepting place for them.” When she accepts the award, Ms. Sarandon will join the company of other celebrity advocates such as Daniel Radcliffe, Lady Gaga, and Neil Patrick Harris.
Every day, the Trevor Project saves the lives of young LGBTQ people struggling to reconcile their authentic selves with a world that is often hostile and rejecting. The Trevor Helpline is the premier 24/7 online and phone counseling service dedicated to saving the lives of youth from suicide. An innovator in suicide prevention, The Trevor Project has been recognized by President Obama as a Champion of Change. For more information, go to the Trevor Project’s website, accessible here.
Another Gay Minnesota Teen Crushed By Weight of Homophobic Bullying
Portrait of gay bullycide victim Jay’Cory Jones, 17, held by his father, JayBoka Strader.
Rochester, Minnesota – A 17-year-old openly gay teen succumbed to overwhelming bullying, taking his own life this past Sunday. Jay’Cory Jones jumped to his death into traffic from a pedestrian bridge near Century High School, according to police reports. According to his father, Jones was beaten down by the incessant school bullying he endured for being open and vocal about his sexual orientation. His father, JayBocka Strader, told the PostBulletin.com, “He said all of his life they always picked on him. He’d still try to keep his head up at school, but then he’d come home and be really sad about it.” Mr. Strader went on to say that his son was depressed because other boys wouldn’t accept him for who he was.
Jones knew of his sexual orientation since he was a little boy. He took pride in who he was, and declared on his Facebook page that he was “Gay & Proud.” A member of the Century Gay Straight Alliance, he sought help with his feelings from the Gay and Lesbian Youth Services in Rochester where he attended weekly meetings. In the end, the pressure on him from his peers was just too much to bear.
ABC 6 News reports that Jones’s high school friends confirm that the abuse he suffered from bullies was a large factor in his death. “You could tell it upset him because like he didn’t understand why people couldn’t accept him for who he was,” his friend Rachel said. “It just sucks that we had to lose somebody because of people’s words, and they didn’t realize that words hurt more than anything else.”
Communities across Minnesota, even the notorious Anoka-Hennepin School District in suburban Minneapolis, as well as towns and cities around the nation are attempting to staunch the numbers of gay and lesbian teens who take their lives because of homophobic bullying. There is help available, like the Gay and Lesbian Youth Services of Rochester, and the nationally based Trevor Helpline, but it appears to be too little too late for so many, like Jay’Cory.
As EDGE On The Net reports, his dad said, “Up until his death, he took a stand. He was like, ’Whatever happens, happens — I’m just going to take a stand.’ And he started to take a stand.” The homophobia in Century High School was just too heavy to win against. To honor Jay’Cory, Mr. Strader requests that people wear pink. “I told him he looked really good in pink,” he said.
The Trevor Project 24-hour Lifeline number is 866-488-7386. For God’s sake, use it!
Gay Tennessee Teen Takes His Life; Bullied To Death
Jacob Rogers, another gay teen hounded to death
Ashland City, Tennessee – Jacob Rogers, a teenager who cried out to his friend that no one listened to him, and that he was being constantly attacked for being gay, took his own life on Wednesday. Rogers had dropped out of school at Thanksgiving. He left notes and email passwords for his grandmother, who was his primary guardian, so that she and officials could understand why he took his life.
His friend, Kaelynn Mooningham, told WSMV News, “He started coming home his senior year saying ‘I don’t want to go back. Everyone is so mean. They call me a f****, they call me gay, a queer.'” Mooningham went on to say that her friend felt ignored and alone, in part because the school’s guidance counselors were unresponsive, and other school officials took no action. “Jacob told me no one was helping him,” she said. “He constantly was going to guidance.”
Other students confirmed Mooningham’s statements. They said that school officials knew some students were tormenting Jacob, but the took no steps to get it stopped. The school, on the other hand, says that all they knew about was an incident of harassment. The principal of the school said that they had no idea it had gotten out of hand. Friends and family find that hard to believe, however. The fact Jacob dropped out at Thanksgiving in his senior year should have been a red flag that something was going very wrong for him
Initially, there was insufficient money to hold a funeral for Jacob. Then a tattoo parlor started and fund, and news spread around the blogosphere about the need. Now two other funds at local banks have been opened for the funeral and other expenses, and well-known LGBT bloggers, Dan Savage, Andy Towle, and Joe Jervis have contributed. A candlelight vigil was held on December 8 at River Bluff Park. Box Turtle Bulletin listed ways others could help spot and prevent more suicides of LGBT Youth from happening. Jim Burroway says: “For more information on suicide prevention, research and help-seeking resources, see the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). If you or someone you know needs help, see The Trevor Project’s web site or call the Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).”
Daniel Radcliffe, Star of Harry Potter, Makes Major Donation to LGBT Youth Suicide Prevention
The Dallas Voice reports that Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe, has made a major donation to the Trevor Project for the prevention of LGBT youth suicide. The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth, and operates the only accredited, nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for queer youth in the nation, the Trevor Helpline. With teen suicide attempts among LGBT teens occurring four times as often as among their straight peer as a result of bullying and harassment in schools according the 2006 Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey, the need to staunch this flood of hate-related suffering has never been greater. LGBTQ youth suicide is the hidden face of anti-LGBT hate crimes in America. Radcliffe made this personal statement through his press release: “I am very pleased to begin my support of The Trevor Project, which saves lives every day through its critical work… I deeply hope my support can raise the organization’s visibility so even more despondent youth become aware of The Trevor Helpline’s highly trained counselors and Trevor’s many other resources. It’s vitally important that young people understand they are not alone and, perhaps even more important, that their young lives have real value.” The young, charismatic Radcliffe joins other celebrities in support of the Trevor Project, Jodi Foster, Sasha Baron Cohen, and Anne Hathaway. No dollar amount of the gift has been released to the public, but the suggestion is that it is a large donation, and may spur other celebrities to follow suit.
About
If you are a first-time visitor to the Unfinished Lives Project website, we invite you to read A Welcome Message introducing you to our project. We are truly grateful for your visit.
The Unfinished Lives Project website is a place of public discourse which remembers and honors LGBTQ hate crime victims, while also revealing the reality of unseen violence perpetrated against people whose only “offense” is their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender presentation. LGBTQ people in the United States are suffering a slow-rolling decimation of terror and murder all across the country. Every locale and demographic of society are affected: First Nations, Anglo, Black, Latino and Latina, South and Southeast Asian, Transgender, Bisexuals, Gay men, Lesbians, disabled, young, and mature. Homophobia has a long, crooked arm, and it is reaching out to snatch the life away from women and men whose tragic stories are under-reported to begin with, and whose memories are swiftly forgotten.
The horror of these killings transcends the shock and bereavement of loved ones and friends. These are not typical homicides; they are not killings for money or drugs, incidents of domestic strife, or crimes of passion. The vicious nature of hate crimes against LGBTQ persons is extremely brutal, grotesquely violent, and egregiously hateful.
Each murder serves the LGBTQ population as a sobering warning about the actual level of danger in our communities. The message these killings send is that freedom and open life for LGBTQ people is a cruel dream. Every time we remember one of these victims, however, the intentions of their killers are frustrated. To remember these women and men is to begin the process of changing the culture that killed them.
Our Project Director
Dr. Stephen V. Sprinkle (Keith Tew photo).
Stephen V. Sprinkle is Director of Field Education and Supervised Ministry, and Professor of Practical Theology at Brite Divinity School, Fort Worth, Texas, a post he has held since 1994. An ordained Baptist minister, he is the first open and out Gay scholar in the history of the Divinity School, and the first open and out LGBTQ person to be tenured there. Read More…
Recent Social Justice Advocacy Activity By Dr. Sprinkle
Summer 2009 – Dr. Sprinkle responded to the Fort Worth Police Department and Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission Raid on the Rainbow Lounge, Fort Worth’s newest gay bar, on June 28, 2009, the exact 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion. Dr. Sprinkle was invited to speak at three protest events sponsored by Queer LiberAction of Dallas. Here, he is keynoting the Rainbow Lounge Protest at the Tarrant County Courthouse on July 12, 2009. Read More…
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Dr. Sprinkle will gladly present his acclaimed presentation to your organization. To arrange an Unfinished Lives presentation for your organization or group, please contact us.
Dr. Sprinkle has given his Unfinished Lives presentation to these and other community groups and organizations. Read More…
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Publisher: Steve Sprinkle (Project Director)
Steve Sprinkle
Unfinished Lives: Remembering LGBT Hate Crime VictimsBrite Divinity School/Texas Christian UniversityFort Worth TXprofessor, minister, author, blogger, LGBTQ advocate
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