Unfinished Lives

Remembering LGBT Hate Crime Victims

Cyber Bullied Teen Dies After “Secret” Video Goes Viral; Boy’s Family Stonewalled by School System

Matthew S. Burdette, 14-year-old victim of cyber bullying and cyber voyeurism.

Matthew S. Burdette, 14-year-old victim of cyber bullying and cyber voyeurism.

San Diego, California – The family of a teen who took his life after a secret video of him in the school Men’s Room went viral on the web say bullying drove him to it–but his school refuses to communicate with them about it.  Matthew S. Burdette, 14, fell victim to a classmate at University City High School who allegedly videoed Burdette masturbating in the toilet by holding a phone over the top of the stall, and then blasted the images on the internet, according to ABC 10. Matthew left a note to his family detailing a storm of bullying targeting him as the reason for his fatal despair.  His aunt, Laura Burdette Mechak, said her nephew just couldn’t take the bullying anymore–but since she and his parents knew nothing of the video, they had no idea why Matthew took his life. He was a popular boy, working on his Eagle Scout rank, a member of the water polo team, and well-liked by everyone, so far as they knew. Then something happened at high school that he didn’t want to talk about. Mechak told ABC 10 about the contents of her nephew’s suicide note, “He said, I can’t do school anymore. I have no friends. I don’t want to kill myself but I have no friends.”

Since Matthew’s death in November 2013, his family has repeatedly tried to get answers from the school, but to no avail.  His aunt and his father took the suicide note with them to the school, and asked officials what they knew about whatever had driven their beloved Matthew to such despair.  The school dropped a cloak of secrecy over the incident for months, and refused to share information with the Burdettes.  The distraught family only pieced together what had happened to Matthew after classmates blew the whistle on the school, and revealed the existence of the excruciatingly embarrassing video.  Mechak said, “Kids came forward to help them figure out what was going on.”  They told Matthew’s parents that after his antagonist spied on him over the stall, the student put the video he shot on Snapchat, Vine, and other sites on the web.  “It went viral. It went beyond his school. It went to other schools in California,” Mechak said. “Kids in the neighborhood who didn’t go to Matthew’s school had heard about it and seen the video that was taken of him.”  Then the weeks of brutal taunting and bullying started.

The bullying was unrelenting, according to Mechak, though Matthew hid his crisis from the family.  “Kids saw this video and began to tease Matthew mercilessly — they teased him, they harassed him. They made his life miserable over a two-week period,” she said. Then, he took his life.

Matthew’s parents demanded to know what the school had done about the boy who videoed their son.  Mechak says that she and they bear no ill will toward the kid who ignited all this sorrow.  It was only after the San Diego Police Department told them that the unnamed juvenile had been arrested and confessed to taking the video, and the District Attorney refused to supply the family with any more information about the case that the Burdettes secured an attorney to file a claim against the San Diego Unified School District, and bring their side of the story to the public.  “I don’t have hatred for the kid who took this video. He was a dumb kid who did a dumb thing. But these kids don’t get it. They don’t realize how big the cyber bullying world is,” Mechak told ABC 10.

sdusd-signThe Los Angeles Times reports that Matthew’s parents, Timothy and Barbara Burdette have filed a $1 million claim against the school system, alleging that a teacher, a school administrator, and possibly other school employees knew about the incriminating video and its creator, and did nothing to protect or help their son. In the claim, the Burdettes say that they are now “forced to bear the death of their son for the rest of [our] lives.”  The school system rejected their claim, so the family now has six months to file a lawsuit.  Their attorney says the school failed Matthew on several counts, and that the creator of the video may be guilty of breaking California’s anti-bullying law.  The District Attorney says that their will be a hearing for the young man who ignited this whole incident on July 23.

This past Monday, the San Diego Unified School District issued a statement expressing sympathy for the family, but continuing to stonewall them at every turn.  In part, the press release reads: “At San Diego Unified, the safety and well-being of our students is a top priority. The district also adheres to the privacy and confidentiality laws and regulations related to students, families and ongoing investigations.”

Bullying in schools remains at epidemic levels throughout California and the United States.  Matthew Burdette’s case shows that even athletic and well-regarded teens can fall victim to suicidal despair, whatever their perceived sexual orientation or gender identity and presentation may be.  It is imperative that parents and friends know the warning signs of the onset of suicidal thoughts in teenagers.  The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), among others, have excellent online resources to help teens and families.  Their teen suicide prevention information may be accessed here. 

July 16, 2014 Posted by | Bullycide, Bullying in schools, California, cyber voyeurism, harassment, National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), San Diego Unified School District, suicide, teen suicide | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dharun Ravi, Clementi’s Spying Roommate Found Guilty of Anti-Gay Intimidation

Dharun Ravi (l), found guilty of cyber-spying and bias intimidation against his gay roommate, Tyler Clementi (r).

New Brunswick, New Jersey – Dharun Ravi was found guilty today on the vast majority of counts for spying on his Rutgers roommate’s gay intimacies in 2010.  ABC News reports that Ravi remained emotionless as the jury brought back its verdict in one of the most closely watched anti-bullying trials in United States history.  He was found guilty of  invasion of privacy, bias intimidation, witness tampering, and hindering arrest due to his actions setting up a spy-cam to record a gay tryst between his freshman roommate, Tyler Clementi, and a same-sex lover on September 19, 2010.  Ravi was also found guilty of prompting others to spy on Clementi during a second tryst on September 21, 2010, and of intimidating his roommate for being gay.  He was found not guilty of some subparts of the 15 counts of bias intimidation, attempted invasion of privacy, and attempted bias intimidation, but needed only to be found guilty of one part of each count to be convicted. Ravi, who is 20, could face a sentence of five to ten years for his crimes.  Because he is a citizen of India in the United States on a Green Card, he could also face deportation.

Behind the proceedings, the suicide of Tyler Clementi loomed like a dark cloud.  Clementi was distressed when he found out that he had been videoed in his own room and exposed for being gay. His death by drowning after leaping from the George Washington Bridge on September 22, 2010, and the connections between his suicide and Ravi’s use of the spy-cam to invade his privacy and intimidate him for his sexual orientation made international news.  Clementi’s death, one of a long list of gay intimidation suicides, burst on the national scene with long-delayed urgency, calling attention to the loss of so many young lives to school and university brutality and intimidation.

Over the course of the 12-day trial, Ravi’s defense team argued that he was not homophobic in action or intent, and that his actions were those of an immature person who saw a chance to make fun of someone different.  They also argued that Ravi’s use of a spy-cam was to monitor Clementi’s male guest, whom Ravi felt was “sketchy,” according to reports in USA Today.  The jury did not buy the explanation.  As the verdict was read, Ravi’s mother burst into tears, and his father took notes about the particulars of the findings.  Ravi will be sentenced on May 21.

Tyler Clementi’s family spoke briefly at a press conference following the verdict.  They praised the work of the court, and affirmed how important this trial was to them, though they did not refer directly to the verdict or the case.  The family will now be able to return to their Ridgewood, New Jersey home in the knowledge that some justice has finally been done for their shy, musically gifted son.

March 16, 2012 Posted by | Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullying in schools, cyber voyeurism, gay teens, GLBTQ, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBTQ, LGBTQ suicide, New Jersey, Perpetrators of Hate Crime, Social Justice Advocacy, suicide | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Body of Gay Rutgers Student Found; Furor Over Death Grows

Clementi was a gifted violinist

New York City, New York – CNN reports that the body of Tyler Clementi, gay Rutgers University freshman who jumped off the George Washington Bridge because of cyber-bullying, has been recovered from the Hudson River on Friday.  The body had floated in the river for a week after Clementi threw himself of the bridge near the New York side of the Hudson in a desperate act of suicide after being exposed as gay on the world wide web.  Clementi, 18, promising young violinist, was distraught over being spied upon during a gay tryst by a hidden web cam activated remotely by his roommate, Dharun Ravi.  Ravi shared the live stream images of Clementi and his lover with another Rutgers student, Molly Wei.  Ravi allegedly broadcast the tryst on the web September 19, and attempted to do so again on September 21.  The next day, Clementi carried out his suicide.  In a mobile Facebook status update on September 22, Clementi wrote, “jumping off the gw bridge sorry.” Ravi took apparent delight in exposing his roommate, whom he suspected was gay from tracing Clementi’s web activity to a gay hook up and chat site called “Just Us Boys.”  Later, on Just Us Boys, the day before Clementi jumped to his death from the bridge, a user called cit2mo posted a thread under the subject “college rommate spying.” Cit2mo wrote, “so the other night i had a guy over. I had talked to my roommate that afternoon and he had said it would be fine w/him. I checked his twitter today. he tweeted that I was using the room (which is obnoxious enough), AND that he went into somebody else’s room and remotely turned on his webcam and saw me making out with a guy.” Investigators suspect that Cit2mo was actually Clementi.  Respondents to the thread advised that the web cam was a violation of privacy, and should be reported to the dorm authorities.  A lawyer for Just Us Boys has told CNN that Cit2mo’s ID was traced back to Rutgers University.  News of the cyber-voyeurism leading to Clementi’s suicide exploded across the nation in the days since Clementi died. New Jersey Governor Christie has condemned the actions of Ravi and Wei in strong terms, saying he does not know how they sleep at night.  Presently, the two 18-year-old suspects are charged with invasion of privacy and face five years of jail time for every count against them, if proven guilty as charged.  The Governor issued a call to prosecutors to examine the case carefully to see is further charges can be brought against the pair of freshmen whose prank turned deadly.  The Clementi family has remained quietly at home, enduring their grief over the loss of their son with dignity.  They have issued this statement to the public: “We understand that our family’s personal tragedy presents important legal issues for the country as well for us. Regardless of legal outcomes, our hope is that our family’s personal tragedy will serve as a call for compassion, empathy and human dignity,” the statement said. On Friday, the President of Rutgers, Richard McCormick, pledged to meet with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students who are angry and fearful after Clementi’s suicide.  McCormick announced that the university will hold a candlelight vigil in Clementi’s memory on Sunday evening on campus, calling the vigil “an opportunity to come together in this difficult time to reaffirm our commitment to the values of civility, dignity, compassion, and respect for one another.”

October 2, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullying in schools, cyber voyeurism, gay men, gay teens, harassment, Hate Crimes, Law and Order, LGBTQ suicide, New Jersey, New York, Perpetrators of Hate Crime, Vigils | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Body of Gay Rutgers Student Found; Furor Over Death Grows

Gay University Freshman Commits Suicide After Privacy Invasion with Hidden Camera

Piscataway, New Jersey – An 18-year-old Rutgers University freshman jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge September 22 after his roommate live-streamed his sex session with another male using a hidden camera.  The New York Daily News reports that Tyler Clementi, a renowned young violinist who had just enrolled at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey, left his car on the New Jersey shore, walked to a spot on the George Washington Bridge near the New York side, and plunged to his death in the Hudson River.  His body has not been recovered.  Authorities say that he left a suicide note.  His roommate, Dharun Ravi, 18, posted that Clementi had “asked for the room” at midnight, so Ravi enabled a hidden web cam, went to the room of his high school friend, Molly Wei, and switched on her computer to live-stream Clementi’s tryst.  Wei is also 18 years old.  “I went into Molly’s room and turned on my webcam,” Ravi posted.  “I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.”  The Twitter post went out on the internet on September 19, three days before Clementi’s suicide.  Ravi and Wei, both from Asian American extraction and Rutgers freshmen on the Piscataway campus, are charged with two counts each of invasion of privacy under a New Jersey law.  Illegally collecting or viewing images showing sexual contact involving another individual without that individual’s consent in the Garden State is a fourth-degree crime. Transmitting or distributing such images is a third-degree crime. Ravi has also been charged with two more counts of invasion of privacy for his attempt to broadcast another sex session Clementi is alleged to have had on September 21.  Both suspects surrendered peacefully to university police.  Ravi is free on $25,000 bond.  Wei was released on her own recognizance pending prosecution.  The top penalty the two web-voyeurs could receive if found guilty as charged is five years in prison for each count.  Officials of the university are making no comment on the alleged crimes so long as the investigations are proceeding.  Clementi is remembered as a wonderfully gifted musician.  His parents have been devastated, and are making no comment to the press.  Apparently the shock of being outed in such a public and humiliating way led him to such despair that he could not bear to live.  As Jim Burroway of Box Turtle Bulletin said, “It’s not just high school kids being bullied and humiliated to their deaths.”

September 29, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Asian Americans, cyber voyeurism, gay men, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBTQ suicide, New Jersey, New York, suicide | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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