Unfinished Lives

Remembering LGBT Hate Crime Victims

Gay Minnesota Teen Hangs Self in Response to Anti-Gay Bullying

Justin Aaberg, 15, courtesy of his mother, Tammy

Anoka-Hennepin School District, Minnesota – A 15-year-old gay teen hanged himself after being continually hounded for his sexuality on July 9.  The story of Justin Aaberg, which was regional before the explosion in national consciousness on gay teen suicide in public schools and universities, has grabbed the country’s attention.  His mother Tammy Aaberg describes her son as “a very sweet boy who seemed to always have a smile on his face; he didn’t have a mean bone in his body…He was always a shoulder [friends] could cry on and would help them with their problems. He was also an extremely good cello player who even composed a few of his own songs.”  Justin was a student at Anoka High School, and a member of the school orchestra.  His mom told WCCO in Anoka, the CBS affiliate, “I actually thought he had the perfect life. I thought out of anybody I knew that he had the perfect life.  But I guess he didn’t think so.”  She found his lifeless body hanging in his room.  Justin’s friends related to her how severely he was harassed by anti-gay bullies in school, and how he had recenctly broken up with his boyfriend from the stresses he was facing. Mrs. Aaberg testified to the Anoka-Hennepin School Board that her son was harassed mercilessly by bullies at Anoka High School because of his sexual orientation.   “I’m not asking you to accept this as a lifestyle for you,” she told the Board according to The Colu.mn, an LGBT online newspaper in Minnesota. “I’m only asking that you please make the school safe for GLBT students still alive and in this district today they are people just like us and deserve to be treated like the rest of us. Suicide should not feel like the only way to take away the pain and shame.”  Mrs. Aaberg has been joined by Minnesota LGBTQ activists who are calling for the school district, the largest in the United States, to change its policies explicitly to protect students who are members of the sexual minority.  As EDGE reports, the district is finding it hard to deny there is a problem for its LGBTQ students, since this past year there were two other LGBTQ teen suicides in area schools in addition to Justin, besides the scandal of two district teachers who conspired to torment a teen because they knew he was gay.  The district has defended its responses as adequate, and tauted its “neutrality” policy that mandates no one in the employ of the schools will speak in favor or in opposition to the “LGBT lifestyle.”  Gay Equity Team members have criticized district officials for a policy of “neutrality” they believe is in place because of the conservative, disapproving attitudes of politically powerful citizens who loathe gay people.  Officials admit that their vaunted policy is hardly neutral when it comes to LGBTQ teens and their orientation.  The Minnesota Independent reports that Dale Schuster, a former student of the district, criticized the way district policy speaks openly their support of heterosexuality and opposite sex marriage, but only remains mum when gay concerns are at stake. “There is no way to be neutral on this issue, he said. “Either we support the GLBT students as we do their straight peers or we don’t. It’s impossible to explain why hateful rhetoric is wrong with a neutrality policy in place.  How do you stop the anti-gay rhetoric without explaining why it’s wrong in the first place?” Drawing a bead squarely at the School Board, Schuster added, “The time to remain neutral while our GLBT students are taking their own lives needs to end.”  Tammy Aaberg agrees that the policy of the School Board contributed to the death of her son, and she is not going to rest until the policy changes for the better, so that LGBTQ students like Justin can be safe at school, and no other family will have to endure the loss hers has faced because of unreasoning hatred and harassment.

October 2, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullying in schools, Gay Equity Team (GET), gay teens, Hanging, harassment, Hate Crimes, hate crimes prevention, Heterosexism and homophobia, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, Minnesota, Social Justice Advocacy, suicide | , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Asher Brown, Dead at 13: “They Ripped Him Up & Tore Him Down Everyday”

Supporters of Asher Brown at the Outdoor Memorial Service on Saturday (Stephen V. Sprinkle photo)

Houston, Texas – Asher Brown’s uncle told a big gathering of mourners and family supporters on Saturday that school bullies “ripped him up and tore him down everyday.”  A crowd of hundreds blanketed a Houston park beside Moore Elementary School to express grief over the death by bullying of 13-year-old gay boy, Asher Brown.  Bright balloons floated in the air as the line of friends patiently waited to sign the memorial book and get a chance to speak to David and Amy Truong, Asher’s parents.  His uncle, a Christian minister, MC’ed the memorial service.  “The bullies picked on my nephew because of the way he dressed, how he talked, and the fact he was small.  He was a David among Goliaths,” Rev. Truong told the large crowd.  “But Asher’s heart was so big! His heart made him a giant.”  Asher’s school friends, the few who stood by him no matter what, were present and spoke.  One of them said there was a “Bully Free Zone” sign at Hamilton Middle School where Asher faced torment every day for being different, for being gay, and for being vulnerable.  His friend said that the sign meant nothing.  Nothing was done by anyone to protect Asher, himself, or any other target of ridicule at Hamilton. the Truongs had repeatedly tried to get school officials to help their son, but the school basically ignored their calls and emails. Initially, a spokesperson for the school district denied that any appeals had come to the school about Asher and the severe bullying he was facing there.  Now the Cy-Fair Independent School District is acknowledging that “some communication” concerning Asher did indeed come from his parents.  The gay teen shot himself in his Dad’s closet on September 23 after bullying became unendurable for him.  When David Truong, Asher’s Dad,  found Asher lying on the floor of his closet, he thought at first that his son had fallen asleep reading a book–and then he saw the blood.  Referring to Asher’s six friends who spoke at the outdoor memorial service, David Truong said, “These kids are the true heroes of this whole thing.  They are speaking out, and we need to support them.”  Jolanda Jones, a city councilwoman in attendance told the crowd that she and Mayor Annise Parker were taking this senseless killing in Houston as a “call to action” for passage of a zero tolerance anti-bullying law that will be named “Asher’s Rule” as a fitting memorial to a good boy who just wanted to live his life–though bullies wouldn’t let him.  Many supporters from the LGBTQ community came to show their support for safe schools for all children, and to support Asher’s family.  Asher’s uncle declared that “gay and straight alike are perfect in God’s sight.  God doesn’t make any mistakes.”  What happened to his nephew was not going to be dismissed as simply a “gay issue.”  “This is a hate issue, and we are not going to rest until all children are safe from hate at school,” he said.  For more photos of the Asher Brown Memorial Service, click here.

October 2, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Asian Americans, Bullying in schools, gay teens, gun violence, harassment, Hate Crimes, Heterosexism and homophobia, Legislation, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, Texas | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Asher Brown, Dead at 13: “They Ripped Him Up & Tore Him Down Everyday”

Unfinished Lives: It Gets Better Videos

Unfinished Lives Project would like to recognize author Dan Savage for founding the It Gets Better Project (http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject) in response to the tragic increase in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender teen suicides.  The point of this project is for people to upload videos to let these teens know that, yes, it does get better.

And here at Unfinished Lives, we are cognizant of the fact that part of this “better” is not just social love and acceptance, but spiritual love and acceptance.  To help meet this need, a group of Brite Divinity School students and faculty have recorded their own messages of hope for the It Gets Better Project:

Dr. Steve Sprinkle: Director of Field Education at Brite Divinity School

Sam Castleberry: Student at Brite Divinity School

Egon Cohen: Student at Brite Divinity School

DeSorrow: Student at Brite Divinity School

The Brite Student It Gets Better channel hopes to have more videos shortly. We would also like to encourage any and all LGBTQ faculty, staff, and students in graduate theological education to record videos and to let GLBTQ youth know that it does get better and faith can help not hinder the process. Also anyone else who wishes to record a video should do so as well. For more information on LGBTQ suicide prevention see The Trevor Project

In the meantime, please spread the word, and vote for your favorite video by sending an email with the video link as the subject line (just the link) to: IGBP@savagelove.net.

October 2, 2010 Posted by | ACLU, African Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, anti-LGBT hate crime murder, Bisexual persons, Blame the victim, Bullying in schools, Domestic Violence, gay men, gay teens, harassment, Hate Crimes, hate crimes prevention, hate speech, Heterosexism and homophobia, Human Rights Campaign, Law and Order, Lesbian women, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, PFLAG, Social Justice Advocacy, Special Comments, suicide, transgender persons | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Body of Gay Rutgers Student Found; Furor Over Death Grows

Clementi was a gifted violinist

New York City, New York – CNN reports that the body of Tyler Clementi, gay Rutgers University freshman who jumped off the George Washington Bridge because of cyber-bullying, has been recovered from the Hudson River on Friday.  The body had floated in the river for a week after Clementi threw himself of the bridge near the New York side of the Hudson in a desperate act of suicide after being exposed as gay on the world wide web.  Clementi, 18, promising young violinist, was distraught over being spied upon during a gay tryst by a hidden web cam activated remotely by his roommate, Dharun Ravi.  Ravi shared the live stream images of Clementi and his lover with another Rutgers student, Molly Wei.  Ravi allegedly broadcast the tryst on the web September 19, and attempted to do so again on September 21.  The next day, Clementi carried out his suicide.  In a mobile Facebook status update on September 22, Clementi wrote, “jumping off the gw bridge sorry.” Ravi took apparent delight in exposing his roommate, whom he suspected was gay from tracing Clementi’s web activity to a gay hook up and chat site called “Just Us Boys.”  Later, on Just Us Boys, the day before Clementi jumped to his death from the bridge, a user called cit2mo posted a thread under the subject “college rommate spying.” Cit2mo wrote, “so the other night i had a guy over. I had talked to my roommate that afternoon and he had said it would be fine w/him. I checked his twitter today. he tweeted that I was using the room (which is obnoxious enough), AND that he went into somebody else’s room and remotely turned on his webcam and saw me making out with a guy.” Investigators suspect that Cit2mo was actually Clementi.  Respondents to the thread advised that the web cam was a violation of privacy, and should be reported to the dorm authorities.  A lawyer for Just Us Boys has told CNN that Cit2mo’s ID was traced back to Rutgers University.  News of the cyber-voyeurism leading to Clementi’s suicide exploded across the nation in the days since Clementi died. New Jersey Governor Christie has condemned the actions of Ravi and Wei in strong terms, saying he does not know how they sleep at night.  Presently, the two 18-year-old suspects are charged with invasion of privacy and face five years of jail time for every count against them, if proven guilty as charged.  The Governor issued a call to prosecutors to examine the case carefully to see is further charges can be brought against the pair of freshmen whose prank turned deadly.  The Clementi family has remained quietly at home, enduring their grief over the loss of their son with dignity.  They have issued this statement to the public: “We understand that our family’s personal tragedy presents important legal issues for the country as well for us. Regardless of legal outcomes, our hope is that our family’s personal tragedy will serve as a call for compassion, empathy and human dignity,” the statement said. On Friday, the President of Rutgers, Richard McCormick, pledged to meet with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students who are angry and fearful after Clementi’s suicide.  McCormick announced that the university will hold a candlelight vigil in Clementi’s memory on Sunday evening on campus, calling the vigil “an opportunity to come together in this difficult time to reaffirm our commitment to the values of civility, dignity, compassion, and respect for one another.”

October 2, 2010 Posted by | Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, Bullying in schools, cyber voyeurism, gay men, gay teens, harassment, Hate Crimes, Law and Order, LGBTQ suicide, New Jersey, New York, Perpetrators of Hate Crime, Vigils | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Body of Gay Rutgers Student Found; Furor Over Death Grows

Black R.I. University Student Hangs Self; Anti-Gay Harassment Suspected

Providence, Rhode Island – a Black, Gay Johnson and Wales University sophomore hanged himself in his dormitory room on Wednesday, September 29.  Raymond Chase, 19, was a well-regarded, openly gay student.  Vice President of the university, Ronald Martel, emailed the student body on Thursday to inform them of Raymond’s suicide: “Today I contact you with the deeply sad news of the passing of Raymond Chase, sophomore, 19, culinary arts major. The campus community is mourning the loss of this vibrant young man who leaves many JWU friends and teachers, and a loving family of Monticello, New York.”  As Steve Rothaus of the Miami Herald and Gay South Florida writes, Campus Pride, the nation’s largest LGBT university and college advocacy group, issued a statement of concern immediately upon learning of Raymond Chase’s suicide.  Shane Windmeyer, founder and Executive Director of Campus Pride, said to the press: “The loss of Raymond this week is the second college LGBT-related suicide in a week and the fifth teenage LGBT suicide in three weeks. The suicide of this openly gay young man is for reasons currently unknown; however, the recent pattern of LGBT youth suicides is cause for grave concern. Campus Pride demands national action be taken to address youth bullying, harassment and the need for safety and inclusion for LGBT youth at colleges and universities across the country. We must not let these tragic deaths go unnoticed.  Together we must act decisively to curb anti-LGBT bias incidents, harassment and acts of violence.”  Just last week, Campus Pride released a comprehensive report to lawmakers in Washington on anti-LGBTQ harassment and violence on college and university campuses in the United States.  Released through its Q Research Institute for Higher Education, the report, entitled, “2010 State of Higher Education for LGBT People,” drew attention to disturbing statistics such as: Nearly a quarter of LGBQ faculty, staff and students experience harassment on the nation’s campuses.  Of these, 83% say that their sexual identity is the reason for the abuse.  Transgender faculty, staff and students experience an even higher rate of harassment–39%.  Of these transgender people, 87% say their gender identity and/or expression is the reason.  33% of LGBQ faculty, staff and students, and 38% of transgender faculty, staff and students say that they have seriously thought of leaving their schools because of the abusive atmosphere.  43% of all LGBQ folk and 63% of all transgender people on campus say they hide their sexual difference to lessen the intimidation and danger.  The full report can be accessed in pdf form by clicking here. In response to the suicides of Raymond Chase, Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, and Billy Lucas, Arne Duncan, President Obama’s Secretary of Education issued this statement on October 1: “This week, we sadly lost two young men who took their own lives for one unacceptable reason: they were being bullied and harassed because they were openly gay or believed to be gay. These unnecessary tragedies come on the heels of at least three other young people taking their own lives because the trauma of being bullied and harassed for their actual or perceived sexual orientation was too much to bear. This is a moment where every one of us – parents, teachers, students, elected officials, and all people of conscience – needs to stand up and speak out against intolerance in all its forms. Whether it’s students harassing other students because of ethnicity, disability or religion; or an adult, public official harassing the President of the University of Michigan student body because he is gay, it is time we as a country said enough. No more. This must stop.”

October 2, 2010 Posted by | African Americans, Anglo Americans, Anti-LGBT hate crime, bi-phobia, Bisexual persons, Bullying in schools, Campus Pride, gay teens, harassment, Heterosexism and homophobia, Johnson and Wales University, Lesbian women, LGBT teen suicide prevention, LGBTQ suicide, Social Justice Advocacy, transgender persons, transphobia | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Black R.I. University Student Hangs Self; Anti-Gay Harassment Suspected

   

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